You’re facing a federal indictment and heard stories about how people have microwaves, TV in their cells, and how “in the feds, you have buffet style eating”. You can forget about all that.

In the Fed’s, you will get none of those things. 20 years ago, you had the ability to eat in a buffet-type setting. They had a “hotline” and a “cold line”. Many existing facilities will allow you to come up and get a 2nd helping of food if you wanted it, sadly this is no longer the case. Nor has it been for quite some time.

Much of the information currently out there about what it’s like in federal prison is grossly outdated—this information is supplied by people who have not been there for over a decade or more. Unfortunately, the people who put out this misinformation are getting paid for it much of the time. Or they saw it on TV, or a friend of theirs told them about it. None of this is true.

There is this idea of “Club Fed”. That is a gross misconception. Numerous county jails have far more perks to them than inside federal prisons nowadays. Personally, I would much rather do time in some county jails in many of the federal facilities currently in operation.

In many county jails, they now have tablets available. This is not the case in federal prisons. In many state facilities, you can have a television in yours. This is not the case in federal prisons. In some states allow conjugal visits. You will never see a conjugal visit in federal prison. Many states and state prisons allow prisoners to have microwaves. The Bureau of prisons has removed microwaves from housing units many years ago.

They cited increased costs as a justification for doing this; however, they never paid for microwaves to discredit their statement. This may be strange for many people to read, but the fact is that the funds for things like microwaves come from the “inmate trust fund”. This fund exists and allows the BOP not to have to pay for many things inside their facility. Its revenues are generated from the profit that is made from the sale of commissary items. Many of the items you are buying commissary need to be heated up. A microwave is somewhat required.

There are ways around this in which inmates are forced to do a creative stinger to keep their food, which is illegal under the Bureau of prisons policy statements. And in turn, if you want your Ramen noodles to be hot, you may have to spend a few months in solitary confinement for them. How hungry are you?

In Solitary

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